Ted Lavender wasn’t the bravest man readers can hear of. Usually, all the soldiers took twenty-five grenades with them, but the timid Ted Lavender, when he was killed near Tan Khe, had thirty-four grenades with him. He collapsed like a heavyweight; he was twenty pounds of ammunition, a bulletproof vest, helmet, NZ, water, toilet paper, dope and three tons of fear. He fell like a wreck, without moans and cramps. Team soldiers removed flasks, weapons, and ammunition from Lavender. They wrapped Lavender in his own poncho, carried it out to a dry glade, put out a guard and, in anticipation of a helicopter, smoked cigarettes of the dead man. Lieutenant Cross and Kiowa accused themselves of Ted Lavender’s death.
Ted Lavender, suffering from fear, wore tranquilizers until he received a bullet in the head in mid-April. Because of necessity, and also in accordance with the statute, they wore steel helmets weighing five pounds, with a cloth lining and camouflage hood. Everyone had camouflage uniforms and trousers. A few wore linen. They wore forest boots on their feet (two and one-tenth of a pound), and Dave Jensen had three pairs of socks and a tin can of powder "Doctor School" from calluses.
When Ted Lavender was alive, he took a powerful lantern weighing six and three-tenths of a pound in an aluminum box. Henry Dobbins wound his pantyhose, like a scarf, around his neck. Everyone took a dagger. With the onset of darkness, they walked through the meadows and rice fields to the place of ambush, they set mines, lay down and waited for the night to end. Before Ted Lavender wasn’t shot, he took light doping with him, without which he could not survive. It was a hard thing for the team to lose him.
Ted Lavender in the Essays