He had not far to go; he knew indeed how many steps it was from the gate of his lodging house: exactly seven hundred and thirty. He had counted them once when he had been lost in dreams. At the time he had put no faith in those dreams and was only tantalising himself by their hideous but daring recklessness. Now, a month later, he had begun to look upon them differently, and, in spite of the monologues in which he jeered at his own impotence and indecision, he had involuntarily come to regard this "hideous" dream as an exploit to be attempted, although he still did not realise this himself. He was positively going now for a "rehearsal" of his project, and at every step his excitement grew more and more violent.
...it was not a matter of miracles. It was not an expectation of miracles, frivolous in its impatience. Alyosha did not need miracles then for the triumph of certain convictions (it was not that at all), nor so that some sort of former, preconceived idea would quickly triumph over another...Again, it was not miracles he needed, but only a "higher justice," which, as he believed, had been violated--it was this that wounded his heart so cruelly and suddenly...it was justice, justice he thirsted for, not simply miracles!
to be Christians finally, it is our duty and obligation to foster only those convictions that are justified by reason and experience, that have passed through the crucible of analysis, in a word, to act sensibly and not senselessly as in dreams or delirium, so as not to bring harm to a man, so as not to torment and ruin a man. Then, then it will be a real Christian deed, not only a mystical one, but a sensible and truly philanthropic deed …
He thirsted for this resurrection and renewal. The vile bog he had gotten stuck in of his own free will burdened him too much, and, like a great many men in such cases, he believed most of all in a change of place: if only it weren't for these people, if only it weren't for these circumstances, if only one could fly away from the curses place--then everything would be reborn! That was what he believed in and what he longed for.
If anything is wrong with your nose, they send you to Paris: there, they say, is a European specialist who cures noses. If you go to Paris, he'll look at your nose; I can only cure your right nostril, he'll tell you, for I don't cure the left nostril, that's not my speciality, but go to Vienna, there there's a specialist who will cure your left nostril.
Dosta je bilo! - izusti odlučno i svečano. - Dalje od mene, utvare, izmišljene strepnje, priviđenja!... Ima još života! Zar nisam sad maloprije živio? Nije mi se još život ugasio s onom babuskarom! Bog da joj duši dao lako i... i dosta je bilo, bakice, vrijeme da se smirite! Sad je zavladalo kraljevstvo razuma i svijetla i... i volje, i snage... i da vidimo sada! Da se ogledamo! - dometne pakosno, kao da se obraća nekoj mračnoj sili i izaziva je.