I’ve long wanted to meet you. Only it’s too bad we’ve met so sadly … Kolya would have liked very much to say something even more ardent, more expansive, but something seemed to cramp him. Alyosha noticed it, smiled, and pressed his hand. I’ve long learned to respect the rare person in you, Kolya muttered again, faltering and becoming confused. I’ve heard you are a mystic and were in the monastery. I know you are a mystic, but … that didn’t stop me. The touch of reality will cure you … With natures like yours, it can’t be otherwise. What do you mean by ‘a mystic’? Cure me of what? Alyosha was a little surprised. Well, God and all that. What, don’t you believe in God? On the contrary, I have nothing against God. Of course God is only a hypothesis … but … I admit, he is necessary, for the sake of order … for the order of the world and so on … and if there were no God, he would have to be invented,1 Kolya added, beginning to blush. He suddenly fancied that Alyosha might be thinking he wanted to show off his knowledge and prove how adult he was. And I don’t want to show off my knowledge at all, Kolya thought indignantly. And he suddenly became quite vexed. I’ll admit, I can’t stand entering into all these debates, he snapped. It’s possible to love mankind even without believing in God, don’t you think? Voltaire did not believe in God, but he loved mankind, didn’t he? (Again, again! he thought to himself.) Voltaire believed in God, but very little, it seems, and it seems he also loved mankind very little, Alyosha said softly, restrainedly, and quite naturally, as if he were talking to someone of the same age or even older than himself. Kolya was struck precisely by Alyosha’s uncertainty, as it were, in his opinion of Voltaire, and that he seemed to leave it precisely up to him, little Kolya, to resolve the question.
I am sorry I can say nothing more consoling to you, for love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams is greedy for immediate action, rapidly performed and in the sight of all. Men will even give their lives if only the ordeal does not last long but is soon over, with all looking on and applauding as though on the stage. But active love is labour and fortitude, and for some people too, perhaps, a complete science.
And how many ideas there have been on earth in the history of man which were unthinkable ten years before they appeared! Yet when their destined hour had come, they came forth and spread over the whole earth. So it will be with us, and our people will shine forth in the world, and all men will say: The stone which the builders rejected has become the cornerstone of the building.
Above all, avoid falsehood, every kind of falsehood, especially falseness to yourself. Watch over your own deceitfulness and look into it every hour, every minute. Avoid being scornful, both to others and to yourself. What seems to you bad within you will grow purer from the very fact of your observing it in yourself.
Upon my word, cried my adversary, annoyed, if you did not want to fight, why did not you let me alone? Yesterday I was a fool, to-day I know better, I answered him gayly. As to yesterday, I believe you, but as for to-day, it is difficult to agree with your opinion,said he. Bravo, I cried, clapping my hands. I agree with you there too. I have deserved it!