MERCUTIO: Thou art like one of those fellows that whenhe enters the confines of a tavern claps me his swordupon the table and says God send me no need ofthee! and by the operation of the second cup draws iton the drawer, when indeed there is no need.BENVOLIO: Am I like such a fellow?MERCUTIO: Come, come, thou art as hot a Jack in thymood as any in Italy, and as soon moved to be moody,and as soon moody to be moved.BENVOLIO: And what to?MERCUTIO: Nay, an there were two such, we shouldhave none shortly, for one would kill the other. Thou!why, thou wilt quarrel with a man that hath a hairmore, or a hair less, in his beard, than thou hast: thouwilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having noother reason but because thou hast hazel eyes: what eyebut such an eye would spy out such a quarrel? Thy headis as fun of quarrels as an egg is full of meat, and yet thyhead hath been beaten as addle as an egg forquarrelling: thou hast quarrelled with a man forcoughing in the street, because he hath wakened thydog that hath lain asleep in the sun: didst thou not fallout with a tailor for wearing his new doublet beforeEaster? with another, for tying his new shoes with oldriband? and yet thou wilt tutor me from quarrelling!BENVOLIO: An I were so apt to quarrel as thou art, anyman should buy the fee-simple of my life for an hourand a quarter.MERCUTIO: The fee-simple! O simple!
JULIET: Saints do not move, though grant forprayers’ sake.ROMEO: Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.JULIET: Then have my lips the sin that they have took.ROMEO: Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!Give me my sin again.JULIET: You kiss by the book.
Charmian: Kind sir, give me a good fortune.Fortuneteller:I don’t make fortunes; I only see them.Charmian:Then see a good one for me.Fortuneteller:Your beauty will be even greater than it is now.Charmian(to the others) He means I’ll get fat.IrasNo, he means you’ll use makeup when you’re old.Fortuneteller:You will love more than you are loved.Charmian:I had rather heat my liver with drinking.